Dictionary.com defines bridezilla as a soon-to-be bride who is overly involved with the details of her wedding and becomes extremely self-centered, demanding, or otherwise difficult to tolerate.

Planning a wedding can be quite stressful, and stress doesn’t always bring out our best qualities. You want your day to be perfect, but in chasing perfection you may become so enmeshed in the details that you become overly demanding of those around you. Avoid becoming a bridezilla with some advice from Oaks Manor.

Pause to Breathe

When you feel yourself becoming frustrated with a vendor, member of the bridal party, your soon-to-be inlaws, or your partner, take a moment before you leap into an argument. Pause and take some deep breaths. Is it really worth it to take on the aggravation? Is there a solution you haven’t yet considered? Is there a compromise to the situation?

Taking a few minutes to step away from a potentially difficult situation gives you time to put things into perspective, accept things that simply cannot be changed, and possibly avoid unnecessary confrontations that will add more stress to your wedding planning.

Consider Your Bridal Party

The members of your bridal party are honored to be a part of your big day. Be considerate when making demands of them. Remember, they are not just showing up for your wedding. They are taking on the expense of bachelor/bachelorette parties, travel to the wedding, accommodations, gifts, suits, dresses, shoes, and accessories. This may put a strain on them financially.

Your friends and family in your bridal party are giving their time to celebrate with you. They are doing you a favor. Don’t put them under undue financial stress. Take their personal budgets into account, and appreciate their participation in your festivities.

Think Beyond the Big Day

The wedding is preoccupying all of your thoughts these days, but remember — it’s just one day. Sure, it’s an important one, but it is the beginning of your forever together with your chosen partner. Think to the future and forgive the inevitable glitches in planning your wedding day.

Be Compassionate to Vendors

You are paying vendors for a service. It is unfair to expect them to provide more than you’ve contracted for. Be reasonable, and remember that vendors are people with lives outside of your wedding.

If your vendors will be with you all day (photographers, wedding planners, etc.), offer them a place to sit and a meal. Don’t ask them to stay longer than scheduled without pay. Be respectful of your vendors, and they will provide exceptional, stress-free services for you.

Take a Break from Planning

Treat yourself to a spa day or just a mental health day off from work. Don’t engage with anyone about your wedding plans. Simply tell them you are taking a day for yourself and a break from planning. Relax and take care of yourself.

Ask for Help

You’re going to spend the rest of your life with your partner. Shouldn’t they be involved in planning the wedding? This is a celebration for you both. If you’re shouldering all of the decisions and then resenting your partner for not being involved, it’s a situation that will lead to stress and unhappiness. Ask your partner to help you make some of your wedding day decisions and compromise to make the day less “my day” and more “our day.”


It may be hard to give up control, but you can’t do everything! And micromanaging can end up in hard feelings or arguments. Delegate tasks to family and friends where you can. It will decrease your anxiety and give them a way to be involved in the celebration.

This is especially important on your actual wedding day. If you don’t have a day-of wedding coordinator, ask a family member to be the go-to person if there are any problems. That way, you can savor your wedding without being interrupted.

Ask Yourself if it Really Matters

As you’re planning and you hit a problem, ask yourself, does it really matter? If the tablecloths are a slightly different shade of white than the candles, is it a crisis? Think back to weddings you’ve attended as a guest. Did you notice color variations in the table décor or that the cake wasn’t the exact one the bride wanted? In all likelihood, you did not, and your guests won’t notice either.

Oaks Manor is a gorgeous wedding venue with a banquet hall and mansion — complete with a bridal suite. Let us take some of the stress away from your wedding day! Call 585-468-6257 to talk to our event coordinator. We still have open dates for the 2021 wedding season!


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