You’ve decided to write your own wedding vows. Now what? You’ve told your fiancée how you feel thousands of times, but the thought of putting your feelings into words for your wedding ceremony suddenly robs you of all ability to speak. Don’t worry! Oaks Manor Events offers a few tips and tricks to help you find the right sentiments and the words to express them.
Before You Begin
Before putting pen to paper, talk to the love of your life, and discuss your vows’ format. Do you want to write them in rhyme? In song? Does it matter if you do it the same way? Do you have a particular length in mind? After this discussion, you’ll at least have an idea of how long your vows should be — whether in the number of words or minutes.
Traditional vows are very particular and structured. Writing your own vows allows you to be more creative and personal. You may still want to touch on traditional themes but put them in your own words.
What to Include in Your Vows
Whatever you choose to say, make sure to say, “I love you.” It’s easy to get lost in your emotional and intimate feelings, but those three words are more important than any others. Don’t forget to add them to your vows.
All relationships have ups and downs. Traditional vows include “for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health,” and you should acknowledge this in your vows as well. Tell your future husband or wife that you will be by their side no matter what comes along.
What do you love about your partner? What is it about this person that has led you to promise to live your life with them forever? What do you miss about them when you’re apart? When did you realize you were in love?
It’s truly meaningful when you share personal stories in your vows. Whether you describe how you met, your first date, or your first fight, it’s a part of who you are as a couple now. Sharing those stories is what makes writing your own vows significant.
Make promises. These are vows, after all. You can vow to stand by your significant other’s side forever, and you can promise to always take out the trash on Tuesday nights. Not all promises have to be heavy and serious. Be true to yourself and your relationship.
Make a Cheat Sheet
Once you’ve written your vows, don’t put pressure on yourself to memorize them. It’s completely acceptable — and even expected — that you’ll have notes for reference.
Pro tip: Bulletize your notes so you can speak from the heart without reading word-for-word.
Don’t “Wing It”
You may read our tips and think, “I’ve got this. I don’t need to write anything.” On your wedding day, you will have a lot on your mind, you’ll be in front of friends and loved ones, and you’ll want to express yourself eloquently. “Winging it” rarely works out well — especially if your fiancée has prepared ahead. Take the time to jot down some notes for yourself. You’ll be glad you did!